The Down Low - My Three Cents

Sunday August 3, 2003, The New York Times decided it would enter the DL conversation/fray (two years after the story officially broke) with an article that several people decided to send to me and clog up my email. If you haven't read it, do so. Better yet, read what I wrote two years ago about DL culture in a op-ed piece I did for Africana.com. My opinion hasn't changed much. I don't think much of many of the DL pieces that have been published in last two years, namely pieces in VIBE, Honey, Essence, Washington Post, and several other magazines that do not come to mind. Most, if not all, are sensational, explotive and ridiculous cast as reality. Thanks to the media and Hip-Hop, we have a new stereotype for the new millenium: The DL Predator, a nameless, faceless phantom who shuffles between the so-called black heterosexual and homosexual communities bringing dick and ass to the men, and HIV to the women. Watch out--he just might get you!

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The Low Down on Down Low Culture
July 10, 2001

Gay is not synonymous with HIV/AIDS, just as black male is not synonymous with criminal. But when one examines the recent spat of media attention paid to this phenomenon called DL (down low) culture, and the public’s reaction to it, not only is black gay culture viewed as criminal, but it is also presumed guilty of harboring an unidentified silent killer in heterosexual clothing.

When the Center for Disease Control released a study in February 2001 stating that 30% of gay black men or black gay men are infected with the virus, popular media went berserk--and the insanity continues to grow. Ironically, the public was treated to tales that weren’t so much about black gay life, but about the fears of the larger white and black communities about the AIDS pandemic. Print, broadcast and cyber media coughed up stories that were potent cocktails, mixing homophobia, hip-hop and HIV/AIDS. Panel discussions were held. Black gay leaders and activists were summoned for soundbites concerning DL culture, and more than a few of those men expressed their frustration and anger at those “trifling, down-low, confused and dangerous DL men.” For those who don’t know: down-low culture refers to black men who have sex with other men who don’t consider themselves gay.

Allow me to interject some much-needed reality into this discussion by relating a bit of personal information about myself. I think it would help to place this whole DL phenomenon in its proper context.

In 1995, I came out to my father. He was the only person other than my mother whose opinion mattered to me. I told him the "news" over the phone. He listened quietly. After the initial shock, he was surprisingly supportive. Then it was my turn to listen. He told me that he was worried that I could be disenfranchised, that I could get fired, or hurt and that I should keep my business to myself – on the low. My father was also fond of saying that a man shouldn't do in the dark what he's ashamed to do in the light. I live somewhere in between his two comments, comfortably.

That said, I am a man who celebrates a life that is sexually and intimately involved with other men. I occasionally publish stories about my experiences, exploring my perceptions and feelings about race, culture, education and, of course, sexuality. In effect, I am an “out” gay male, at least in print.

But let me also make it clear that if I were living life on the DL, that if I were not open about my homosexuality, it wouldn’t be any of your damn business. Here’s why.

Nearly every story that I have read or seen or heard about DL culture talks about how dishonest these men are. That they are danger to the community. That these insidious men should come out to their brethren, and be their true selves. “Come out, come out wherever you are,” is the notion. “We will accept you as you are. Just tell us the truth.”

Well, black people, y’all, can’t handle the truth.

How is it that anybody with a soupçon of honesty can twist his or her crooked little mouth and sputter “you need to be honest.” Truth be told, most people have not and will never walk in my shoes.

And let me say that my feet are sore.

I am personally confronted with all kinds of homophobia day in and day out that at times I have to ignore in order to remain sane. Homo hate is everywhere: at the office, on the train, on the street, in my building, in stores, at church, on television, in books, films and music. Damn near everywhere I look I see people talking about faggots, or I overhear some mother in the park telling their young male child, “don’t be a punk, be a man,” even though he is only a boy. Teenagers use this type of language frequently to assert their sense of masculinity. Men jokingly call each other faggots. Sisters don’t want no sissies around them. Parents disown their progeny.

Parentless, homeless, bamboozled, beat down, depressed, dispossessed.

Now doesn’t this sound great? Just a perfect healthy and wonderfully supportive environment for brothers to reveal themselves. Yes, I think I shall encourage all the closeted gay men that I know to come out be free, wave a gay flag, and kiss their boyfriends in public. If they don’t, you can rely on me to admonish them for not being honest! Yes, I shall tell them that they have no right to their privacy because the world says that they are being counter-revolutionary and that they need to reveal themselves for the good of the community. Forget being misunderstood, or being bombarded with all kinds of ignorance and injustices! Dem straight folks wanna know yo bizness!

Yeah, I’ll get right on it.

I would be remiss if I didn’t take a minute to talk about the black community’s longstanding ambiguity concerning their menfolk and adulterous behaviors. For centuries, many men have led double lives, one as a faithful husband, and the other as a unconfined, free-wheeling bachelor. Before it even had a name, black folks condoned DL culture. Why else would it be a reoccurring theme in so many blues and jazz songs, with their messages of double lives, secrets and claimed freedom? “Just don't let me find out about her,” “T’aint nobody's business if I do,” and so on. I’ve heard women, and a few men, deliver soliloquies about this idea all my life. All any man had to worry about was being circumspect.

And what about women and their DL behavior? All of the essays written place women in sanctified place, free from the responsibility of protecting themselves. Women are seen as victims, not as co-conspirators. Perhaps co-conspirator is a strong word; maybe what I trying to suggest is that women are culpable. What's interesting to me is how there has been no public outcry from black women as being portrayed in this helpless manner. Not one single voice. Black women are seen as damsels in distress, not as agents of their own sexual health.

So let’s take this opportunity to set the record straight (sorry). If a man is on the DL, that’s his business. If he spends his time out having unprotected sex with men (or women), contracting venereal disease and bringing it home to his girlfriend or wife or male lover, then that’s another story. That’s an issue of honesty, not sexuality—or to the point, homosexuality—which continues to further malign a community of men and women as this burgeoning and very public conversation about black sexuality among black people evolves.

Which is the best thing that I can say about DL culture -- it may be a kick in the pants to keep such a conversation healthy. And boy do we need to talk about it for health's sake. Frankly, we don’t we have a choice. Whether you are gay, heterosexual, bisexual or on the DL, you do not want to be left out of this conversation, because if you don’t raise your voice, you will be left out.

If we can’t talk to each other across "perceived" sexual boundaries, all will continue to deteriorate. Black men and women will continue to put themselves at-risk to catching HIV. Ignorance about one’s sexuality will continue to be passed down from generation to generation. And perhaps worst of all, after the dust has cleared, nobody will be left to talk about anything.

Wednesday, August 06, 2003 @ 09:10 PM