Samiya’s cat goes the hell off!

Editor's note: Samiya's cat Sheeba refused to give me a photo, so I had to use this graphic. Too much cat-itude for me. For more details, go check out the feisty feline's website and you'll quickly figure out why.

Hey baby, what's your name?

The NAME is Sheeba. Sheeba Baby Bashir, thank you very much.

How’s it going, living with Samiya and all?

That bitch. She's aight. Kinda sometimey if ya ask me. I gotta howl for my damn food like every day. Like she forgets she ain't fed me since yesterday and, yup, it's time to do that shit again. MMph.

What kind of cat are you?

My Kind. Damn. You f---ing race-obsessed negroes in this country make me sick. I'm sexy ass tan, with sexy ass black stripes, like a Zebra WISHES he had ... more langourous, you know? Folks call me Tabby. Sounds like some white girl in a Chicago Suburb to me but, whatev. I'm old (10), I'm feisty, and I'll bite your hand off *just* when the pettin's feelin' good. Just cuz. Don't ask me why. Don't ask me shit. I don't even know why I'm talking to you.

That's why I stopped doing my blog (www.sheebasview.blogspot.com) ... at first it was a protest--I have certain issues with the discrimination in the blogosphere against those of us w/o opposable thumbs, and also I had to rely on this bitch to do most of my typing for me ...mostly cuz--I can type, but I can't open the damn laptop. But also ...cuz y'all are so crazy, I figured I'd leave you to your own problems. I got nappin' to do.

Were you around when Samiya published Best Black Women’s Erotica? Tell us about her state of mind.

Yeah. I've been around since that bitch had natty dreads and still didn't know how to pluck her eyebrows right. Damn. The things I've seen. Right. Erotica. Okay, picture this: a sea of manuscripts all over the place (I know, sound like perfect napping spots galore right? Yeah, but everytime I got my comfort zone on, she's pulling papers out from under me.) There's like red and blue pencils everywhere--like who in the hell does that old-style editing anymore anyway? This bitch actually got out some scissors at some point? Cut and paste. HAHAHAHA. So there was some good shit she got in and some shit that was not so good and some shit that was damn good but didn't even make *me* hot. There was some stuff from writers even I've heard of, but most of that didn't make it in the book. Me? I thought it was a mistake. Publish the famous writers, I'd say. They'll sell your book! But she has her own ideas about shit. So finally, I just ignored her and chewed up the papers anyway and went on takin' my naps.

State of mind? Mmmh. That bitch crazy.

You ain't got anymore interesting questions for me? Good. Time to go find that skeeza and tell her it's time to feed a ho. Peace out.

Friday, January 21, 2005 @ 08:08 AM