Pleasure doubled.
Tell us about what motivated you to write I’m On My Way?
Pain motivated me. Pain and the need to discover what was keeping me from achieving the happiness I so desired. The very first sentences I wrote were drenched in pain. Right then and there I made a decision not to stop until I flushed it all out.
I like the title of your book. It’s sounds and feels like an affirmation. How has publication of the book changed you?
I went through several titles before the right one, I’m On My Way, found me. It is an affirmation, a declaration to the world and to self that I am indeed on my way to becoming the man I’ve always known in my heart I could be. Whenever I mention the title I am reminded of that truth. So it goes without saying that I love it as well. Before I’m On My Way I was a regular Joe. After I’m On My Way I’m still a regular Joe; to me at least. The only major change I think I’ve experienced is my ability to see a dream through ‘til realization. I used to talk about publishing a book, and having people all over reading my words; now, because of a little thing called determination, it’s true. Shit, as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing I can’t do now. Test me.
You’ve established a publishing company. Talk about that process.
Yes, Yes Ya’ll! To the beat ya’ll! Ah man, to be in control of your own destiny is to fully realize what life is all about. Before starting my company I used to work for a major corporation and I hated every second of it.
I used to dream about freedom...about the things I’d do if my days were truly mine! About change...about revolution...about the possibilities... And now, amazingly I find myself calling the shots. Whoa…give me a second, I'm still not used to it. You see ‘cause this is the very first time in my life I’ve tasted the sweetness of freedom. The process is challenging, but fun. Establishing the respect of peers is well, annoying but you learn quickly the names of those who truly believe in family.
Where do you see your work in the continuum of black LGBT/SGL creative production?
L.M. Ross, author of The Long Blue Moan, paid me the highest compliment in his review of my novel when he said: “I’m On My Way is a necessary manual to love, how to love, and more importantly, how NOT to love.” With that I hope my novel brings to life the realization that our love is no different or any less important than anybody else’s.
Twice as nice.
Name five things you love about being out.
1. I love how I’ve finally come to grips with my sexuality. I used to
tussle with it all the time. Now, I’m like: “Chris be Chris, and stop
fronting: You love this shit!”
2. I love not using the words, “My girl...” when I’m really talkin’
about “my boy...”
3. I love sharing my love (Sdot) with my family.
4. I love shocking people: “Oh so this is a gay novel?”
5. I love standing up and out for what I believe.
Talk about being a creative person in the current political environment.
Talking about the current political environment wrecks my fucking nerves. As a result I’ve stopped watching the news, and rarely keep up with current events. I’m no good when I’m depressed, and thinking about the last four years and the ones to come usually destroys what little hope I have for the future. Great Steven, just great, now I’m depressed.
How does a largely Republican administration affect your write or how you create your work, if at all?
Look, do you want me to slit my wrists? I already told you...[see above text]
How can black LGBT/SGL writers support one another?
As long as we believe there is not enough we will continue to treat each other as competitors instead of brothers and sisters in the common struggle for equality. Together we can effect change more rapidly, and bring to life the community we say we want. [Down with the egocentrics!!!] [I could name them, but I won’t.]
Before you published I’m On My Way, you had a vision of how it would be received. Did your vision match what happened once the book hit the streets?
Of course every creative person thinks once people get a whiff of their shiznit the game is gonna bow-down. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t admit I secretly subscribed to that belief...but reality is a mother ain’t it? On a whole, I am AMAZED at how well my novel has been received! All through word of mouth and what little promotion my three man team could generate. I’ve received thank you’s from as near as Clinton Hills and as far as South Africa. Who says dreams can’t come true? And to think, the best is yet to come!
Describe why your partner matters to you in five words.
Because he understands my shit.
What are you working on now?
Everything. The website for my publishing company Christopher David Books. The marketing plan for my new author Judeah Sunrise and his debut novel RUSH. The re-distribution of my debut novel I’m On My Way through my publishing company, and my second “ooh have you read it?” novel.
Where are you going to appear next?
In print: Best Black Gay Erotica, edited by Darrieck Scott for Cleis Press.
In person: The streets of New York, Philly, D.C., L.A. and Atlanta doing it old school style hocking my reads to anyone that’ll hear me.
Now an excerpt from the phenomenal I'm On My Way.
Excerpt, from Chapter 17
“How long have you been here?”
“A few minutes.”
Silence.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“No, not really.”
“Well, I think we should.”
Silence, then: “If we must, we must.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what’s wrong? What happened? You’ve changed.”
“I haven’t.”
“You have. When I met you there was a light about you. It seemed to
follow you wherever you went but now…what happened, where’d it go?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t aware I had one.”
He paused. “Is it me? Am I doing this to you?”
I thought for a minute. “It’s not you.”
“Then what is it Jared—-please tell me. I’m beginning to worry…”
My eyes began to water. “It’s nothing Michael really.”
He lowered his head into his hands for a few minutes, then looked up.
“Then why is it so hard all of a sudden to reach you? Why does it feel like sometimes you hide from me? Like you hide from the world? I don’t get you. You worked so hard to get me and us to this point…and now it’s like,” he paused, catching his breath, “you shut down, and lock me out. Why?”
I used my shoulder to wipe away the tears. “Because now the real challenge begins.”
“Challenge? What challenge?”
“The challenge of love. You see its one thing to say you love someone, and yet quite another to actually admit you are in love.
But to commit to another your heart and soul with the sacred promise to love them even though, is often too much for many. And as a result it sends them scurrying back to single-hood. So the challenge begins now. I have issues Michael. Plenty of them. Ones I know about, and others I have yet to discover. The question is, how long will you be around to help me get through them..."
There. I’d said it. I’d let it out. Here was his chance. If he’d ever
wanted out, I had all but opened the door for him. The choice was now his.
He grabbed both my hands and held them tightly.
“Jared we all have shit about us that stink sometimes. Believe me, at some point you’re going to smell mine. But I promise you, if you can deal with all the bullshit that’s gonna reek in mine, then there’s no doubt in my mind I can, and will deal with yours.”
I can't tell you how much this man and his partner are an inspiration for me to follow through with the things that I have been crippling scared to follow through with.
Love ya C David .. and Steven, great interview!!