Black Gay Myths Exposed!

Fun title, right?

This is a list of "observations" that a fellow Steven N. sent to me days ago. Steven N. suggested I blog about some of these issues. Feel free to join in on the "this is what we think about us" rant. If you know the guy who authored these "observations," and you happen to run into him on the street, run away as fast as your little brown legs will allow. If you share these opinions, feel free to unplug yourself, Neo.

Now, the comments.

If you're a 'masculine' man whose pubic hair is shaved into a landing strip, you're not as masculine as you think.

Me: Bored with masculinity. It's passé, over with, done. Other than as drag, it only seems to confuse people. People want a man? For what? To fiddle with a carburetor? Searching for a "man" is a lot like searching for the Holy Grail: neither exist. Early on my preoccupation and obsession with trying to obtain masculinity--rough voice, fucking everything in sight--nearly rendered me a vegetable. Even talking about who is masculine and who isn't grates on my nerves. I only conjure up masculinity as a way of keeping people from bothering me. A "bemadfightfuck" attitude, if you will.

Why do some gay men think that if you smile or say hello to them, it means you want to fuck them?

Because they do, nasty little dirty buggers, they are.

There is such a thing as bisexuality. Not every bi-guy is a frustrated homosexual. Some men simply like both steak and fish on their plate.

Three sentences, two decent points rendered useless by a goofy last sentence. Steak and fish? I immediately thought Red Lobster, not sex.

Why do all the queens who appear on television dissing celebrities' wardrobes look so freakish themselves?

(I take a breath.) Queens. I hate hierarchy. We, Americans, have given birth to a culture that eats itself from the inside out. You can purchase relief, you can buy beauty. It shouldn't be difficult to see that they very thing we want to be (beautiful, wealthy, popular, elusive) generally only happens to someone else. Add a dash or two of homophobia and Father Time and what you have is Joan Rivers, her daughter, and scores of other people performing (and getting paid for) the very thing that most of us do in the safety of our living rooms: criticize. Don't get it twisted: we are the freaks.

What's with the term 'same gender loving' in the Black gay press? Sorry, but I'm not exchanging one word and one syllable for three words and five syllables. 'Gay' it is.

Thinking takes a minute or two. Colonized brains generally identify with the colonizer. Most want to replicate the violence that tore our brains asunder. A change in what one calls him/herself can make the difference in one’s self esteem and ability to organically process information to their benefit. I think that freedom starts with naming oneself. People should call themselves what they want, when they want to and how they want to.

Latin men are the best kissers. Latin men wear too much cologne.

The author of these comments is an idiot. I can assure you this guy wouldn't stand for being stereotyped. Still, these types of comments corroborate what I said earlier about freedom and the ability to break free of a colonized mind. Why think when you have someone else thinking for you? Thinking of Latin men in this manner might be interesting, but it doesn't say anything and of course, it isn't supposed to. Its just noise. Folks who spit out shit like this regularly minimize their own humanity by focusing squarely on their lower energies. Some of us don't think, we just react and because the world is so big, so unwieldy and confounding, it's easier to invest in a stereotype than it is to invest in the moment.

Skinny Puerto Ricans have big dicks. Skinny Dominicans have bigger dicks. Skinny Jamaicans are off the scale.

See above comments.

Big dicks are highly overrated.

I'll cosign on this one. Without saying too much about this here(because I had fun dicking around with the subject in FUNNY) I will say this: big dicks are fun to look at and play with, but maybe not so when you're getting split in half by one. See bloody anus for details. Get it? De-tail?

Despite our bravado, Black people are much more prudish than White people.

Another opinion I agree with. Black bodies were used to build the economic base for this country. Bred for capitalism. Hung because of their genitalia. In some ways, I believe this is still happening in overt and not-so-overt ways. Think of all the maids and janitors and inmates and fast food workers and others who hold the jobs that keep this society running; who work, sometimes for very little money and no benefits, and somehow make a living at it. If they didn't go to work for ONE DAY this country would grind to a halt. And you know, of course, that inmates are now used to do marketing for large firms who contract with prisons for wages that would outrage Satan. So yes, I can see how a black person would woof a lot about how baby got back, but really would rather keep her/his privates private.

Brazilian men are the most beautiful men on earth.

Most? I beg to sniffer.

Truly puzzling: Black and Asian men who won't date men of their own race, but think White men who won't date them are racist.

I don't know where to begin with this, so I'll just leave it alone because it probably holds meaning for someone somewhere.

How come gay Asian men never date each other? Why will they walk over broken glass to date even the lamest of lame White guy?

Asians, as statistics reveal, tend to date within their "race" [dumb word] like EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD. This is such a non-issue.

How come you never see an Asian guy with a Black or Latino partner? Like UFOs, they may exist, but I've never seen 'em.

Why does it matter? It makes little difference to me who dates who, and furthermore, I can say that it makes me happy and the world a better place to be when anyone gets to find and love anyone as we all sift through this ash and rubble. I find it troubling when we can't move beyond what we think others should be doing without giving the slightest thought to why it makes a damn difference.

If Black gays spent as much time confronting Black straight homophobia as we do White gay racism, we might get somewhere.

I gather that the author is a black gay male, albeit a bitter black gay male who occasionally makes an interesting observation, like this one. Still, it presupposes that black gay men en masse confront white gay racism. I am not sure "we" do. Confronting it for me might mean not patronizing a particular bar or buying a certain designers clothing or taking the gay white media to task for not presenting balanced views of black LGBT people, and so on. Getting somewhere for me would mean that "we" take a closer look at what we aim to accomplish as a community, but mostly as individuals. Fuck white media and fuck Black homophobia. My job is to know when it's important to confront and when to simply let it go.

It's difficult to make White gays see their own racism. No matter how egregious the example, they think their gayness gives them a free pass.

Fuck trying to make white people do anything. Most of us can barely make ourselves do anything. My experience with some white gay males has been from one extreme to the other: very liberal, conscious men to absolute idiots who expect black gay men to be in unquestionable allegiance, very much like their hetero counterparts. These cats are pretty much gone, and there's no way to save any of them, because no one can save anybody anyway. Really.

It's difficult to make straight Black folks see their homophobia. No matter how egregious the example, they think their blackness gives them a free pass.

Fuck trying to make white people do anything. Most of us can barely make ourselves do anything. My experience with some black gay males has been from one extreme to the other: very liberal, conscious men to absolute idiots who expect black gay men to be in unquestionable racial allegiance to some dumbassed ideas, like BET. These cats are pretty much gone, and there's no way to save any of them, because no one can save anybody anyway. Really.

Black gay men in Abercrombie and Fitch wear make me laugh. Black gay men who describe themselves as 'Abercrombie and Fitch' online make me laugh harder.

What someone wears in less of a concern for me than what a person thinks about him/herself. If your worth is about labels, it's not about much—or better put, you haven't discovered just how wonderful you really are yet, without the facade.

If you are not 6' tall and hung like horse with rippling muscles from head to toe, you shouldn't expect that from others.

No comment.

Now, if you're rich, feel free to expect all of the above. Just know that you're going to pay for every rippled muscle, one way or another.

No comment.

If you love to date thugs, don't complain when your thug uses you, abuses you and generally mistreats you. Perhaps, you should look up the term 'thug' in the dictionary. He's doing what comes naturally.

No comment.

Why do Black gay and straight men fetishize the worst aspects of masculinity, but overlook the others like honesty, integrity, honor and courage?

This is gross generalization, but one that I think merits looking at closely. I wonder what the author of this line thinks of himself on a daily basis. It's so easy for all of us to prop up honesty, integrity, honor and courage as ways of being in the world, but how many of us practice these qualities despite how other act or react? Sure, who wants to date an abuser, but maybe that's not the question after all. Maybe the question is: Who needs to date an abusive male/female to work something out? To learn a lesson? To deal with some karma? Perhaps mature and change one's own behavior? Fuck what others should be doing. Where are YOU in your path?

With the Black community's sky high illegitimacy, absent fatherhood and record low rate of marriage, it would seem that Black folks are more against gay marriage than they are for Black marriage.

I don't understand this comment.

I hate Michael Jackson. I'm sick of all the celebrities who only become Black when they're in trouble.

Turn off the television, don't read the papers. But remember, celebrities are people, too. Too often we throw away people without really considering the content and quality of their lives. I think that a typical blind spot for many of us is that we invest in the notion that celebrities have it better than most people, which is a lie. Maybe it’s easier to think that Michael Jackson is having the time of his life, than to humanize him because then his life wouldn’t be as dishy, and we’d have to confront the reality of our lives.

Turn off the television.

What's with Black folks and our dysfunctional consumerism? If you own an Escalade and a closet full of Versace but you're renting, you're an idiot.

Wow, capitalism. Picking on someone for trying to emulate rich people—that's not-so original. Now granted I am no fan of anybody who tucks their self-worth into capitalism's tight, camel toeing pants, but really, but it is pretty easy to understand why people do it. People respond to new, shiny things and clap. People also respond to not-so new, scruffy things, like me, but not in a good way mostly.

I know that sampling has become the norm in the music industry but I'm tired of it. Remember when songwriters actually wrote their own songs, hooks and all?

People still write songs. There are many artists who write songs, some like Erykah Badu, actually get played on the radio. Whoever wrote this comment must be old. "Remember back in the day when things were..." Good? Hardly. Nothing was ever good, and people were always wildly out. Every generation says the same damn thing. I refuse to say this because all I can really say is that when I was a kid and if I had a gun, I would’ve shot up a few people.

Hip-hop artists are the worst live performers. They are so preoccupied with maintaining their hyper-masculine pose, its like watching cartoon characters. Unentertaining cartoon characters.

There are Hip-Hop artists who have great live shows.

Why is Black gay porn so awful? Most of these guys look they're working for food.

The "why" of why black gay porn sucks sometimes has little to do with the actors, but more about production values overall. But hey, there are better film companies such as Enrique Cruz. Good stuff there. I had some great porno back in the day. That's when things were much better than they are now. People were nicer and music, much better. Yeah, right.

Monday, April 04, 2005 @ 05:04 PM