"daddy"
So you tell me
After I tell you
I'm going to school to be
Something other than an artist
"You gonna kill the artist
For the businessman, eh?"
That I'm going to stop being
What I've been all my life
To make money?
That I couldn't do both,
Or more?
And how does one go about
Killing an artist, anyway?
A few suggestions:
Grab him by the arm
Twist it behind his back
Take him out back
And slice his throat
(or these other simple, direct approaches may be better)
Let him watch television
Where there are no worthy images
Reflecting back
Clog his colon with rotting sweets
Slow his heartbeat
Tell him stories about how "artists" like him
Usually die cuz nobody sees the paint
Or the words floating in
Breathing stories
That bring us closer to the why
or
You can ignore him
Call him worthless
Be a mirror
Not a reflection
Of what's to come
Actually, killing an artist may take more than that.
Make him pray to a god
That only answers others
Tell him he's got a big assed nose
Got soup coolers for lips
That he's ugly
Run a hot comb through the boy's kinky Africa
Call him all kinds of black son-of-a-bitches
Cuff him upside the back of his head
Beat him till you get to the age
where you can shoot him.
Kiss him when he's a baby
Shove him away when you want him to be a man
although he's still only a boy
Tell him to sit his ass down
And shut up
When it's not convenient for you to listen
Admonish him
For feeling apart from everything
Call him a square, a nerd, a geek
a what-the-fuck-are-you-doing?
ignore him
hit him
and when you do it
smile
put him down
send him to school where he learns
that he cannot say what he feels
or thinks
Steer him toward the model
Blunt his consciousness
Don't let him out of the closet
Keep him hanging
Keeping him secret
Watch him get turned out
And buckle under
and be happy because you think you've finally
Finally broken that thing he was
Spilled him out into the open
Like you were spilled out
Pushed that thing into him
Like yours was pushed way into you
Ask him to draw pictures for friends
Brag about his talent
Then snatch it all away
with
SOFT or
SISSY or
PUNK or
HOMO or
BE A MANBEAMANBEAMAN...
so
don't tell me about art, DADDY
being art or creating art, DADDY
feeling thinking knowing breathing being birthing art, DADDY
I didn't come here
To finish the job
You started.
Regardless.
by Steven G. Fullwood
Monday, May 02, 2005 @ 09:51 AM