Soulful Survivor: Sanford Gaylord

The handsome Sanford Gaylord. 2005.

Note: This interview took place in May 2005.

Before we met, I remember seeing your face in an advertisement for Kevin’s Room. Or was it in a magazine? You’ve been published in quite a few black LGBT magazines. Talk about your work as a writer and as an actor.

We first met summer of 1999 in New York City, through a mutual friend, James Jefferson. I stayed a couple of weeks to see the sites after attending the annual Adodi retreat. Around that time, I had just started writing a column with BLACKlines Magazine (now Identity) here in Chicago.

Kevin’s Room aired on a UPN affiliate in Chicago, spring 2001, and then toured on the LGBT film festival circuit. I’m happy to say that we sold out New York’s Lesbian & Gay Film Festival later that summer! It was a very humbling and exciting time in my life.

Writing: I started with Windy City Media Group’s BLACKlines. I had a regular column and wrote about life as a same sex loving HIV+ man of African decent. I’m still a contributing writer for Windy City Times and Identity as time permits. I have had the honor of having my commentary published in Arise, Buti Voxx, Malebox, Family & Friends Magazine, and Positively Aware.

I’ve been an actor longer than being a writer. It was something I always wanted to do. In junior college, I was an English/Drama major, and most of the artistic work I did was behind the scenes, like stage-managing and publicity/promotion. I was on the Forensics Team; I competed with other students across the state and country in poetry, and prose interpretations of published literature. We also did original speeches to entertain, inform, or persuade. Some of the works I interpreted were Essex Hemphill (my all time favorite writer), and Craig G. Harris, winning many awards as I proudly shared my love of Black Gay poetry and literature.

While working on my undergrad degree at Columbia College Chicago, I put together a show with some actors and artists I knew from school called ‘Extensions of One Another’ in 1996. The production taught HIV/AIDS awareness through the arts by blending poetry, prose, original song, and dance. My first professional gig! The same year I met Byron Stewart and Byron Mason and we formed A Real Read, an African American LGBT performance ensemble that was based here in Chicago. A Real Read began in summer off 1996 and we were together from that time and performed through 2001. As a co-founding member, I contributed both on stage and behind the scenes for most of the company’s local and national tours.

What appeals to you most: acting or writing?

SG: Acting is my first love. There’s nothing like the stage and live theatre. I honestly came about writing with my work with A Real Read. We developed our own works of poetry, prose, and plays from the African American LGBT perspective. From that there I started writing for BLACKlines and have since done op-ed’s and book reviews.

Are you recognized for your work in Kevin’s Room and Kevin’s Room 2 Trust? How do you react to people coming up to you?

SG: Yeah, I’m recognized for my work in the films. It’s very humbling and amazing each time someone actually asks, “Weren’t you in…um.” I was able to promote screenings of both films at festivals and Black Pride events across the country. I have had folks come up to me in the streets of Chicago or while on the L subway. I’m very proud of the work that I did, and it’s a pleasure to talk to people about the film and to hear what an impact it has made for them, or how involved they were in the character’s lives. It’s such an honor to be part of history, showing realistic representations of Black Gay life.

How has being HIV positive enhanced your life?

SG: That’s a good question. How much time do you have? Being HIV positive was the worse thing in the world that could’ve happened to me. It was also the best thing in the world, because it saved me from some self-destructive ways and myself. I was 24 when I tested positive and was told to get my affairs in order. This was 1989 and back then, you found out and not long after people died. I was a club kid back in the day and like many club kids, I got my high on some mood altering substance and danced to House Music at the height of its popularity every weekend.

The unwelcome news of my diagnosis increased my sipping of vodka and sniffing of coke, which by that time in the game were my favorite pastimes. They became my sole pastimes leading me away from my pain, my reality, and numbing me into my own slow suicide. It took some years to pull it together. Outpatient therapy helped deal with some of my demons. I eventually decided to claim life after diagnosis and make my dreams become realities. Becoming a working actor and starting college at 28, became my focus and drive. I used to think I wouldn’t make it to graduation but I have. It took a while going part time and working full time but I graduated June 2001. I have gone from youth to middle age with HIV inside of me. Sometimes it can be a daily battle that has me trying to maintain ground mentally and physically.

It’s all good because as Hemphill wrote “…opening my eyes is a miracle,” and being a Black man alive over 30 with or without HIV is becoming rare these days. I have learned to accept my blessings. It took a while though.

HIV has enhanced my life, because it made me want to make the most out of my life. I have become more of a miracle that I ever thought it would or could be. My ‘day job’ is in the field of HIV/AIDS and I travel the city and state and make educational presentations on HIV prevention technologies and grassroots advocacy on HIV/AIDS public policy.

Speaking engagements with youth, performances and shows that I have directed to educate through the arts have refueled what was once an empty spirit. The experiences I have gone through and endured have enabled me to become ‘old wine in a new bottle.’

Tell us more about your involvement in A Real Read?

SG: Byron Stewart, Byron Mason, and I collaborated and formed A Real Read in the summer of 1996. The ensemble performed for almost six years together. We addressed concerns relevant to our community: HIV and AIDS prevention, homophobia, religion, women, and transgender issues. Through our original works of poetry, prose, and plays, the group gave a voice to a community often silenced, while offering performances that reflected the universal.

Initially it was Mason and Stewart writing with Stewart and I performing. Stewart had years of experience on the Chicago stage as an actor and held a BFA from Howard University, and Mason was a graduate of Georgia State and previously a member of Adodi Muse. It was a great blending of talents and Black Gay pride. The core members of the ensemble were C.C. Carter, Ronda Bedgood, Lynnell Long, Derrick Anthony, Chris Mc Morris, and Kelly Love. We enlisted the talents of many LGBT artists of African decent during the company’s history on stage and behind the scenes.

A Real Read was a Company-in-Residence at the Bailiwick Arts Center here in Chicago. We produced our own original works, and the works of Larry Duckette, Steve Langley, Dr. Shirlene Holmes, and other playwrights of African descent in the Studio and on the Main Stage. We toured as a company, both locally and nationally. We staged productions for colleges, the University of Illinois at Chicago, Illinois State University, and New York University, in addition to many organizations like Chicago Black Lesbians and Gays, Equality Illinois, the National Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum, the Black Radical Congress, Astrea Foundation, Out Charlotte, and the Out on the Edge Festival in Boston.

The ensemble was featured on the PBS series “In the Life.” Members of the ensemble were featured in documentary film, “Living with Pride: Ruth Ellis @ 100.” One of the company’s final live performances was at the Fire & Ink Conference in the fall of 2001. Most of the members are doing their own projects nowadays and you can see many of the members of A Real Read in the Kevin’s Room and Kevin’s Room 2: Trust films.

What are some of things you hope to accomplish as an out black gay man?

SG: Another good question! Well…I think I have laid the foundation for much of what I want to accomplish. It’s a matter of now making things happen. I think that we need to see more out men and women of African decent who love the same sex. I think that the arts is one of the best ways to do this because we as people learn through the arts be it written word, stage, film, TV, and/or the Internet.

One of my passions that continues to inspire me, drives me is that what work we do has to be for the generations that follow us. If it weren’t for the big brotha’s and sista’s ‘in the life’ that I have had I don’t think I could’ve made it this far. There were those that walked before us and allowed us to dance upon the earth. I know how important it is to pass the torch the generation behind us and hopefully illuminate what might be a bumpy road in their future. I recently started volunteering with Chicago Gay Youth, an African American LGBT Youth organization, to do this type of work.

How do you relax?

SG: I relax by catching up on my reading. I also love to walk to the lake and take in the scenery and the Chicago skyline, or go riding along the bike path. I love watching moves. I’m a big sci-fi fan and was totally wrapped up the final episodes of Star Trek Enterprise. I still creep out every once and awhile to the club thanks to my little brotha in the life keeping me current!

What are you doing now?

SG: I recently did a public service announcement targeting African American men who have sex with men that’s running on cable here in Chicago. There’s also a voice over that should run starting this summer on radio.

What are you working on now?

SG: I’m volunteering with Chicago Gay Youth. I also plan to do some writing. It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything, and I’ve got a few things that have been rolling around in my head that need to be put to paper. And I want to enjoy a little of the summer before I concentrate on some stage and film projects for the fall.